Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The closer I get to leaving the more I don't want to.
I feel like I'm just getting comfortable and accustomed to the lifestyle here and finally embracing it for everything that it is and everything that I'm doing here. I've told the kids I'm leaving on Friday and they all tell me I'm not allowed and then ask me if I will come back again. It's a heartbreaking feeling to know that I most likely will never see their little faces again, or see what they turn out to be when they are older. All I can do is send letters and and love from afar, hope that it is received, and pray that I've made enough of an impact on at least one child that he/she will grow into an amazing adult and live a happy and fulfilling life.

We found out today that one of the orphans, Mary, went to a funeral for some King of some county (I know that's not very detailed but I wasn't quite sure what was going on) and since he had no children and Mary happens to be named after the King's grandmother, she is now the heir to all the land and money. They slaughtered cows for her and dressed her in amazing clothes and when she turns 18 she will gain all of the land and wealth and become a Queen!! It's the most amazing thing. They are having a ceremony for her on Friday, and we would like to go but we are scheduled to head to Accra on Friday morning to spend the weekend at the beach before I leave on Tuesday.

I'm really so sad that I'm leaving soon. I have made such great friends with the other volunteers and am proud to say I have friends in so many different places across the world now and that in the future if I travel to London or Australia or Canada I will be welcomed with open arms and have connections there. I definitely want to do more traveling, if anything I have gotten out of this trip it's that there is an entire world out there that I was aware of before, but now that I've actually been able to see it with my own eyes I know it is possible to visit all of these different places and emerse myself in a culture completely different than my own.

There are so many things that mean nothing about this trip and would be so hard to explain to anyone besides the other volunteers here- fried dough balls and fanmilk... the excitement you feel when you realize you can buy a box of corn flakes for 8 cedi (the most expensive but most delicious box of cereal I've ever had in my life)... hearing goats outside your window at all hours of the night... and no they do not "baaa"... they actually sound more like dying children. I complain about all of the food I miss back home but it's so great to have something as simple as a piece of fried chicken and know what a treat it is, every bite is amazing and you savor it until there's nothing left. Walking down the dirt road on Mondays during market day and all the people from Nkwanta and surrounding villages are selling their products, the women carrying everything on their heads and babies on their backs... music playing loudly from every shop on the street.... it's such a simple, happy life. I'm scared of returning home and falling so quickly back into normal life, although I do miss it.

I miss Heather, and my mom, and am sad that I was not there to see the series finale of Lost last night... I miss Zeeks and the Sundown... but there's nothing compared to being one of the only white people in a 3rd world country, where everyone thinks you're a movie star, wants to know about you, always says hello, good morning, good evening, how are you, where are you going....

Went to church yesterday- quite the experience. Everyone was praying and singing and rejoicing... the pastor welcomed us to the fellowship and provided us all with translators, which was cool but I think I would have rather not had one, and just watched everything that was happening. We had to get up in front of everyone and say our names and where we are from- everyone laughed at me when I spoke and I found out later it's because I talk fast- which apparently Americans do... according to almost everyone I've met.

I'm also so excited to get home so I can finally tell everyone exactly what has been going on here... it's hard to remember everything I want to say when I get the chance to write here. There are so many little things that will be so much better in conversation. I also can't wait to show everyone all the pictures and videos I've taken- which will bring all of my stories to life and put faces to all of the names everyone will be hearing.

Oh and be prepared, I have picked up a Ghanaian accent so please don't make fun. It's easier to communicate with people out here if you speak like them- with a simple sentences and broken up words, adding a "yo" or "yah" or "aye" in every now and then... give me a little bit to get back to being a full blown American :)

Well, not sure if I will be updating again before I leave so wish me safe travels and I will let everyone know when I am home and safe!!